(Version française ici)
As last week, I wrote about the notion of love, this week, I decided to follow with the notion of love in a close relationship such as the couple. There are as many variations of the couple as there are possible matches among humankind. As the interest here is to connect a subject in relation with the individual and collective consciousness, I will approach the notion of couple with that in mind.
First of all, it is important to acknowledge that being in couple acts like a catalyst on what we came to work in our present life. It has its pros and cons. The energy of the couple allows identifying faster the areas of our personality that require enlightenment; therefore, it can accelerate learning that will benefit our personal growth. However, because it is a catalyst, the life situations we experienced in a couple are more epic, even more dramatic than if we were alone.
Sharing a space with someone else will put us right away in front of our limitations, of what we can accept or not. This includes trivial stuff, as being a bit messy, to serious situations where our physical, mental and emotional integrity might be at stake. Because everyone is not learning the same lessons, we attract the people we need in our personal journey. Each relationship requires adjustments; it is up to us to decide what changes we accept to do to make a relationship work.
Through many conversations with friends and acquaintances, I noticed that for most, communication with the life partner is not completely genuine. Sometimes, it is due to the fact that one doesn’t want to hear what the other has to say. Other times, one is afraid to speak up or to be oneself in case it would change or end the relationship. Whatever the reason restraining a fluid and sincere communication in a couple, I think it’s a shame to experience miscommunication with the person that should matter the most. It feels like a renunciation of one’s authenticity.
For all of us that had the freedom to choose their life partner, I find hard to imagine that communication can be a struggle, although, I witness it regularly. The gaps are caused by a variety of factors: cultural differences, age gaps, different social classes, familial schemes, levels and types of intelligences, different point of views about the couple structure, and so on.
Not only being in a couple brings us farther than where we would go alone (I’m not only referring to physical/geographical distance here), but it also creates situations where we have to let go of something. It teaches us to think beyond us. However, it shouldn’t destroy the individual selves that make the couple. It should be a place of fulfillment where everyone growths from it.
I think that notions of balance and respect characterize a healthy couple. Without compiling what everyone gives and receives, a constant exchange between the two persons creates a sense of balance. If something is granted to you, it should be granted to the other as well, for equivalent things and situations.
In relation to communication, if you do not express to your partner the things that concern your life together, it may be time to find ways to do it. Talk about how you feel, while keeping your share of responsibility in situations that concern you both. A tip that helped me a lot in my own couple is to keep in mind that neither is right or wrong. Everyone lives his reality. The question we should ask is: can we accept the reality of our partner and can he/she accept ours without one submitting to the other’s reality?
For this week exploration, I suggest to assess your love relationship, whether you are in couple or single. If you are in a couple, what can be improved? What gestures or actions belong to you? I’m asking this question, as it is not rare that one waits that the other does something, while the other is waiting for the same thing to happen. If you are single and are waiting to find the right person, why not start to visualize that relationship? What would be important to you? What part would you play in this?
Let’s take a few moments to observe what is happening inside, beyond thoughts and emotions. Feel free to use the picture below for this exercise.
As a closing thought, I think it is interesting to remember the idea of mirror, discussed a few weeks ago. If you develop a healthy relationship with yourself, it will be reflected in your relations with others. Usually, people will not grant you something that you are not granting yourself.
See you next week!
Light and Love
In Feature: 300-060417A, B & C; 1 +1 = 3
In link with this week subject, the couple, today’s features paintings are a kind of trilogy. Each of them can be displayed without the other two; however, their intensity is increased when shown together. They highlight the equation of the couple: 1+1=3, as a new entity is created when two persons share something together. Unlike the other meditation tools, 300-060417A, B and C, don’t have a narrative and imaginative visual; however, their shapes and colours ease relaxation and fit with a practice of meditation.
The Meditation Tool 300-060417A is a unique painting that you can purchase here
The Meditation Tool 300-060417B is a unique painting that you can purchase here
The Meditation Tool 300-060417C is a unique painting that you can purchase here
Link to the online store: https://www.galeriespirale5d.com/meditation-tool-series